It Was Worth It
by Emmalia and Kaitlyn
Summary: Zoey rejected the Change. She tried to fight off the Darkness but realized that it would NEVER let her go. What happens when, two months after her rejecting the Change, a certain someone comes back? Not only is he back, but he's back from the dead. R&R.
1. What Are YOU Doing Here?

**Okay... I'm not sure how this is going to turn out but it's worth a shot. **

**This idea just popped into my head one morning. So go easy on me. **

**REVIEW!**

**Disclaimer: The following is for this chapter and all chapters afterwards: I do NOT own ANY of the House of Night series. They belong to the wonderful P.C. and Kristin Cast. **

**It Was Worth It**

**A Jessica Baylin fanfic**

~_What Are __You__ Doing Here_~

_Zoey_

We ate in complete silence, just like every other day. My friends cast quick, nervous glances at me every thirty seconds.

There was fear in their eyes every time they, accidentally, met my own. It was a familiar fear that I saw every time someone looked at me.

I guess I should explain.

I'm Zoey Redbird. I rejected the Change almost three months ago. I am a Red fledgling now, but I am still the odd one out. I am respected by the other Red fledglings, though. I'm not a freak. I'm not "special". I'm... normal.

I sighed, stood, and set my glass down on the table with a loud _bang!_

Everyone looked our way and I glared at them. They immediately turned away. I looked at my "friends".

"That's it!" I exclaimed. "I am getting sick and damn _tired_ of you all acting like I'm going to freakin' _eat you_! I'm not a monster! I'm no different than I was a month ago, or two months ago, or three months ago. You are worse than my ex-best friend, Kayla. Goddess!"

They all stared at me with wide eyes, their mouths hanging open slightly.

I took a deep breath and sat back down in my chair.

The Twins suddenly looked over my shoulder. Their eyes went wide, wider than they ever had before. They were filled with absolute terror. Damien and Jack noticed and they, too, looked over my shoulder. Damien glanced quickly at me.

"Zoey. Do not look behind you." He whispered urgently. I went to look behind me anyways but they all stopped me.

"No. Zoey. Please." Erin pleaded. There were tears in her eyes. Stevie finally looked up and choked on her drink.

"Zoey," She said slowly, her voice low so only Stark and I could hear her. "I need you to do what the Twins and Damien and Jack say. Along with me. And don't. Look. Behind you."

I sighed in frustration and turned. I heard their chairs fly backwards as they backed away from the table and, most likely, hid under the table.

The brown pop that I held in my hand suddenly turned to ashes as fire lit my my arms aglow.

He stopped when he saw me. I mean, really saw me. His eyes widened but he continued to, slowly, make his way over to us.

He stopped when he got to me. I stood and I could literally feel the fear radiating not only off of my so-called friends, but off of the fledglings that, somehow, knew about Loren and I.

"Nyx, be with us!" I heard the Twins, Damien, and Jack breath together.

I took a deep breath. But Darkness wasn't letting go.

I had been struggling for a while now. I stopped trying after about a week or two of useless fighting. Darkness had been waiting for me, I was its prize possession, and it was _never_ going to let go.

Once I had figured that out... I let it take me.

My friends had gotten used to it. They accepted it, reluctantly. They knew that I hadn't wanted to, that I had I tried. But they also knew that Darkness wasn't letting me go any time soon.

"What in the living hell are you doing here?" I asked. I was shocked at how I sounded. My voice was rough with pain and I sounded... well, weak. I didn't do weak, so that just made Darkness even more pissed than it already was.

So... Darkness and I did have _some_ things in common.

"You're... you're..." He couldn't seem to get the words out so I finished for him.

"I'm a Red fledgling." I said, my voice colder than Neferet's had ever been. "I died. It's not that hard to say."

"Zoey," I turned my head a fraction at the sound of Stark's voice. His hand caressed the top of my arm. "Calm down, my Ace." I glared back at Loren before, with another deep breath, I turned at inhuman speed and sat down.

"Can I...?" He trailed off, nodding at the empty seat next to me. I eyed him with disgust and pure hatred.

I slid my purse closer to me so he could sit there. He slowly sat down, and I looked at my friends who were watching me in stark white terror.

"Sit down!" I demanded. My voice boomed and echoed through the Dining Hall with pure power. The power of a goddess. They flinched but immediately got back in their seats.

I felt others staring and I lifted my gaze just in time to see their eyes before they turned back around in their seat, stuffing their faces with spaghetti.

I saw Jack glancing between me and him.

"What, Jack?" My voice was impatient but it was softer, more... me-like than usual.

"Um... nothing." He squeaked. That made me smile a very little bit. Jack hadn't changed... much.

I looked back at _him_. I cocked my head to the side as he stared back at me. There was no fear in his eyes! I had never seen that before. Even with Neferet. She was always wary with me. And, when I was majorly pissed, there was fear. The same with Kalona.

"How are you here?" I asked, my voice emotionless.

"I... I don't know." He stumbled over the words. I sneered.

"Of course you don't." I said as I sensed them near. I stood and turned just as the Dining Hall's doors opened, revealing Kalona with Neferet at his side. But, I knew better. I knew who was _really_ in charge.

I walked over to them and bowed at Neferet.

"My Queen." I murmured quietly. She smiled warmly at me and bowed her head at me.

"Zoey." She said in acknowledgment.

"We have a visitor." My voice was harsh and cold. I didn't bother hiding how pissed off I was. The familiar fear that I was so used to now appeared in her eyes like she had thrown a switch. I quickly glanced at Kalona, sensing, and seeing, the same thing.

"I am guessing this person is not welcome?" Neferet said calmly. I looked back at her and gestured towards our "visitor".

"This way, my Queen." I said softly. We made our way over to "my" table. His head was bowed. "Do not try to pretend that you are not there." I said, my voice, once again, filled with that undeniable power.

He slowly looked up and I watched his eyes widen in fear.

"Neferet." He whispered, bowing his head once.

"Loren Blake. How _wonderful_ to see you again." Her voice was sarcastic and harsh and there was an icy coldness that had everyone shivering. Everyone except for me. I stared at her in awe and fascination.

This was _my_ Queen, _my_ goddess, _my_ Neferet.

And no one knew.

"So this is our unwelcome visitor." Neferet said with a cold sneer. She looked at me. Her hand slowly swept down my arm, from my shoulder to my forearm. "What should we do with him, my love?"

Ah... so now the secret was out. I had been waiting for her to announce it, for her to be ready. There were shocked gasps and I smiled warmly at my Queen.

"Her what!" I heard Erin asked in her oh-hell-no tone.

"Holy shit!" Aphrodite breathed.

I glanced at a stunned Loren.

"We shall not kill him." I grinned and looked back at her. "We could have some _fun_."

I laughed and Neferet joined in. Her hand slid from my forearm to my hand, intertwining her fingers with mine.

"Yes. We could. But he is your responsibility." She said. My grin fell instantly.

"What do you mean by that?" I asked, a hard edge I my voice.

"He will be staying in your dorm room... with you... until he is of no use to us." She said.

I glared at Loren, smiling as I saw, and felt, his fear.

"Calm, my Zoey." Neferet said. I flicked my gaze back to her and she smiled warmly. She caressed my cheek and brought her lips to mine.

There were more gasps as I kissed my Queen.

She pulled away after a few moments.

I felt her concern and sadness.

"You look a little pale, Zoey." She said quietly. "When was the last time you fed."

"A few days. Maybe a week." I said nonchalantly. I felt her disapproval.

"You do not need to go that long without blood, Zoeybird." She said. Raised her hand and pressed her nail against her neck. I gasped softly as the scent of her blood hit me, wrapping around me, caressing me, calling me.

I held myself back, knowing that she would get angry at me if I attacked her.

"Drink." She whispered. I bared my teeth and, with a feral snarl, latched onto her neck. I moaned as I greedily took the delicious blood.

"Enough." She said. I tried pulling away, my body going rigid. But I couldn't pull myself away.

I was suddenly thrown back. I hissed as I caught myself, my fingers into claws, digging them into the hard stone floor.

I blinked a few times, trying to clear the red haze that was clouding my vision and my senses.

I shook my head and growled.

Neferet made her way over to me. She knelt down in front of me and caressed my cheek.

"Come back to me, Zoeybird." She murmured. I looked into her eyes and felt the red, crazy-haze clear.

"I'm sorry." I muttered. She helped me up and I wrapped my arms around her. She grinned and gently pushed my arms off of her.

"Not now, Zoey." She whispered.

She went back over to Kalona. I went over to him. I bowed my head slightly.

"I need to speak with you... later." I said, my voice low so only he could hear me.

He grinned and his wing caressed the whole right side of my body.

I felt my knees go weak and I closed my eyes.

"And I'll see you tonight, my little A-ya." He whispered in my ear.

Neferet and Kalona then left and I turned to face all of the awe struck fledglings.

"Everyone, get to your dorms." I commanded.

"But we haven't finished eating yet." Becca whined. I was in front of her in less than a second.

"The Dining Hall is for eating." I said. I looked at all of the fledglings then. "Not for eavesdropping."

They looked away guiltily as they all got up and left. I grabbed Becca by the top of her left arm.

"When I say go to your dorms, you go to your dorms. Not argue with me." I said, my voice low and dangerous. She nodded quickly, terrified.

I let her go and she quickly scurried off with the rest of her group that had been waiting at the door for her.

I turned to my friends. Loren stood and I glared at him.

"You will come with me... us." I said looking at my friends.

"Aren't you afraid she's going to eat you?" He asked them, sneering at me. They all turned away, closing their eyes.

I raised my hand and, fingers curled like a claw, slashed his face.

"You will treat me either with respect or with fear. Either way, you will not talk to me like _that_." I said, my voice sharp and cold. The group kept their heads down as we left the Dining Hall.

Just then, Kramisha ran in.

"I got another poem." She said, waving a piece of paper in the air. I sighed.

"I don't have time for this one, Kramisha." I said. "I have to get this group to their dorms before curfew."

She sighed and nodded. She looked at Loren and then back at me. I then had an idea.

"Show, Blake. He was the Poet Laureate before Neferet killed him." I said, throwing him a sneer. "Who's the bitch now?" I said with a haughty laugh.

We made our way down the halls and I stopped, turning to Damien and Jack.

"You can go on to your dorms now. I can trust the two of you." I said with a warm smile. Jack grinned and took a step towards me before he froze. He bit his lip, not sure what to do. I sighed and, sucking it up, wrapped my arms around him in a hug.

He threw his arms around me and squeezed me tight.

"Jack, I may be one of the living undead, but I still need to breathe." I said with a smirk. He let me go, that cute little blush on his cheeks bringing a smile to my face.

"I don't think anyone could hate you, Jack." I found myself saying. "Not even Neferet hates you. She just find you annoyingly perky." I shrugged dismissively. With a nervous giggle, Jack ran off with Damien.

"Let's go." I said without looking at the others.

"Uh, Z?" Erin asked nervously.

"What?" I asked, still not turning to face them.

"Why do we have to stay with you?" Shaunee asked.

That made me turn around. And severely pissed.

"Do you want to die?" I snarled. They took a step back and I advanced on them, loving the fear that fed me with joy and pure happiness.

"No." they said together in small voices.

"_That's_ why." I said, straightening from my hunting crouch. "If I weren't siding with you... in a way... Neferet would have killed you faster than you can say _die_." And, at that, I turned and made my way down the halls.

**I know it wasn't that long but I'm at my Grampa's and can't really get into it because I'm about to leave. Tell me what you think. **

**REVIEW. **

_**~Jessica Baylin~**_


	2. I've Missed You & I'm Bi, So What?

**Heyyyy. Jessica Baylin here... again. I hope you like your chapter. REVIEW...**

Chapter Two

~_I've Missed You_~

~_I'm Bi, So What_~

_Zoey_

I sat down on the edge of my bed, not taking my eyes off of Loren. He looked majorly uncomfortable but... for some reason... I couldn't feed off of that. I just felt... disgusted. Not at him, but at myself.

I got my phone out and dialed Neferet's number.

"Zoey." She said.

"Hey, I need you to tell Kalona I cannot make it tonight. I have to watch our toy." I said, throwing Loren a sneer. Neferet laughed.

"I will tell him, but I expect to see you tonight, Zoey." I moaned softly.

"Of course, my Queen." I said.

"Goodbye for now, my Zoey." She said. She hung up and I put my phone on the nightstand next to my bed.

"Lay down and go to sleep. I have to go see Neferet tonight and that won't happen if you don't get to sleep before the sun rises. I have to watch you or else Neferet won't be happy. And if Neferet isn't happy, I'm not happy." My voice got colder and harder with each word as I advanced on him. He didn't take a step back or even flinch at my tone. He met my gaze steadily and calm.

I was confused, and I think he could see that.

He took a step towards me and I involuntarily took a step forward.

When his arms went around me, pulling me to him, the Darkness faded.

I was me. For the first time in almost three months, I was me.

I wrapped my arms around him. I didn't realize I was crying until he pulled back and wiped the tears away.

"I'm sorry this happened to you, Zoey." He said sadly. I sniffled and went back over to my bed.

"I asked her to." I said quickly.

"What?" He asked, stunned.

"I didn't want to be dead. I thought that I could fight off the Darkness, just like Stevie Rae and Stark and the others did." I sighed sadly and looked away. "I didn't think about how bad Darkness would want me."

"Zoey," He sighed as he sat down on the edge of Stevie Rae's old bed. He opened his arms for me but I hesitated, the Darkness creeping back to the surface. He grabbed me by the wrists and pulled me down to him.

I sat there, my body rigid.

"Relax." He whispered. He slowly traced my Marks, makin me shiver.

I laid my head on his shoulder as he traced the intricate patterns that Marked all of my body.

I laid my hand on his chest and felt a smile on my face.

"I've... I've missed you." I breathed. His hand froze and I looked at him. He looked confused and shocked.

"Why?" He asked. Okay, now I was confused.

"Why wouldn't I?" I asked with a laugh.

"Well, there's the fact that I used you for your worst enemy." He said. I flinched and gritted my teeth against the Darkness that was fighting to be set free.

"Let's not mention that right now." I said with a smile. "This is the first time in almost a month that I've actually been Zoey Redbird not that fucked up crazy chick that just roams around the House and literally screws with any hot guy that walks by."

He just blinked at me.

"Yeah. I've screwed up a lot." I said. He smiled sadly at me.

I caressed his cheek and brought my lips to his.

Goddess, I had missed him!

I pulled away with a small smile. I bit my lip.

He took my face in his hands and kissed me, long and hard, making my head spin.

He pulled away after what seemed like forever.

"I love you, Zoey." He murmured. "I always have."

"I love you, too." I said with a smile. The smile slowly faded as the Darkness came back. "I'm sorry. I don't know when you'll see _me_ again." I closed my eyes and let out a long breath as the slimy Darkness, once again, chained me, trapping me within my own self.

I opened my eyes and hissed in disgust.

I got up and flicked the lights off.

"You need to go to sleep. I'll tell Neferet that you were already out when I left. So don't try anything." I said, not turning to look at him. I opened the door and left.

—

"Neferet." I whispered. She grinned as she opened her eyes. I slid into the bed and under the covers.

I wrapped my arms around her and buried my face in the crook of her neck, taking in her scent.

"See, that right there is why you're addicted." She said with a small laugh. I grinned and nipped at her neck.

"Not my fault you're so delicious." I murmured.

She pushed me onto my back and hovered over me. She just barely touched her lips to mine and I groaned.

"How is our _toy_?" She asked with a lazy sneer that only her and I could pull off.

"He's... annoying. And, thank goddess, is asleep." I said. Her eyes flashed red and she got off of me. She folded her arms across her chest and glared at the wall. I sat up.

"Neferet, please. You know how I feel about you." I said, my voice taking on a pleading note. She glanced at me but quickly looked away. "I wouldn't betray you for her."

I wrapped my arms around her and pressed my fangs against her neck. I heard, and felt, her heart quicken in anticipation.

"I love you, Neferet." I whispered. Her heart sped up and I saw her bite her lip to hide her smile. The red in her eyes completely disappeared and the Darkness that usually swarmed around her faded into almost nothing.

I laid back down in the bed, pulling her down with me.

"I would never leave you." I said. And it was the truth. I would never leave her for anybody. Ever. "I am yours as you are mine. My love, my Neferet." I pressed my lips against hers.

"_My_ Queen." She shivered and I kissed her full on.

Okay, yes. It was a little weird at first when I started making-out and whatnot with Neferet. But I truly had fallen in love with her, and I wasn't planning on leaving her anytime soon. Or at all, for that matter.

It wasn't long before we were both in the bed, panting and naked.

I rubbed my hand over her, earning a low moan. I let one finger slip in and she gasped softly. I smiled down at her.

"Tell me you love me." I heard the pleading note in my voice, so I'm sure she could, too.

She slid her arms down my chest, to my stomach, and around my waist, pulling me closer to her.

"I... I c-cant." She whispered, her voice breaking. "I... I want you. But I can't say..."

I added another finger and she gasped, which ended in a moan as I thrust them in and out.

"I understand, love." I whispered before I kissed her again. I added one more finger.

I knew she was close, and I grinned down at her. I let the monster take over and, with a hiss, I bit into her neck. She let out a long moan as she reached her peak.

I sealed the bite mark shut and laid next to her, panting.

She draped her arm over me, and I turned onto my side, wrapping mine around her waist.

"I have to go, Neferet." I said softly. "Loren is my responsibility. I don't want him to fuck anything up. You won't be too happy if that were to happen." I ran my fingers over her lips. "And I can't have my Queen unhappy."

She shivered, and I smiled as I kissed her.

We stayed like that, kissing, for what seemed like eternity. I finally managed to pull away with a contented sigh.

I went to get out of bed but her arm tightened around me.

She ran her hand down my body, stopping at my now throbbing core. One finger went to my entrance and i moaned softly.

"Tomorrow is your turn." She said with an evil smile. I shivered and kissed her one last time.

I quickly got dressed in my spare clothes that I always brought with me when I went to see Neferet.

I opened the door and was almost out when she said it.

"I love you." I froze and turned. I could tell that she hadn't meant for the words to come out. I grinned bit my lip.

I didn't know exactly what to say to that and I think she knew that.

"Goodnight... my beautiful Queen." I said warmly. I called fire and Spirit to me and sent them to her, to stay with her. She gasped and I winked at her as I left.

I nearly ran back to my room, totally giddy. I jumped on my bed with a giggle.

"What's gotten into you?" Loren asked, flipping his light on. I smirked.

"Neferet." I said slyly. His expression turned to one of complete disgust.

"That's more info than I _ever_ needed to know." He said.

"You didn't seem to mind before." I said quietly. His face fell at that but my mood was still high.

"It's not what we did. It's what she said." I said.

"Oh, goddess, no." He groaned. "Please. I don't want to hear what she said during your totally lesbian sex party."

I snarled, a sound that echoed eerily off the walls.

"You know, for someone who seems so guilty about hurting me and supposedly loves me, you can be such an asshat." I snapped. The light bulb went out with a little hissing noise as the glass broke with fire. I turned so that I was facing the wall and pulled the cover almost over my head. I turned to glare at him, tears in my eyes.

"And it had nothing to do with "lesbian sex"." I said, sounding kinda stuffy. "She said she loved me."

—

"Zoey. Please. I'm sorry." I pushed past Loren, hurriedly getting my stuff together. I finally stopped what I was doing and turned around to face him.

"Sorry doesn't make what you said hurt any less." I nearly yelled. I felt something wet falling down my face and mentally kicked myself for showing such weakness.

"I have been waiting for her to say that for almost three months now." I bit my lip. "So I love her. What the hell is wrong with that!"

He sighed and came over to me. I turned away from him but that didn't stop hi from wrapping his arms around me, pulling me to him.

"I'm sorry, Zoey." He said. "I was wrong for saying that. I honestly didn't think you really loved her. You seemed dead set on killing her before I died."

It was silent for a few moments before I spoke.

"You know... that didn't even sound right." I said with a laugh. He chuckled and kissed my temple.

"It's the Tulsa House of Night, Zoeybird." He said as I leaned back against him. "Since when is anything right?"

"Amen." I murmured. "Now let me go. I gotta get dressed."

"It's nothing I haven't already seen." I heard him mumbled to himself. I smacked him on the arm.

I took a deep breath.

"I want to show you something." I said as I took my shirt off. He raised his brow in amusement. I shook my head and rolled my eyes.

I ran my fingers along the new Marks that Marked my body.

"I got this when I saved Stevie Rae, before you died." I ran my fingers along the scarlet Marks that circled my waist. I then ran them over the ones on my hands.

"When I distracted Kalona and Neferet and the others so we could get away and into the tunnels." I said quietly.

I then touched the Mark that covered the horrible scar that was made by one of the Raven Mockers.

"When I chased Neferet and Kalona away... temporarily." I said. Loren was right in front of me then.

He traced the scar that was under the Mark and I flinched.

"Raven Mockers. They're a bunch of bastards." I said, my voice barely above a whisper.

He ran his hand down my right arm. I glanced at the newest Marks that laced my right arm.

"I... I haven't figured that one out yet." I said, the confusion finding its way back through the Darkness that filled me.

"What were you thinking about when you got it?" He asked softly.

"Well... Kramisha had written a poem... it took a while before we figured it out...

She's been hurt

so many times

Betrayed by those she loved.

The one she loved most

stuck with the dead.

She's been hurt

lost everything

What now?

And then there's:

He comes back

One they both hate

One made the kill

One once loved"

I paused and I bit my lip when I saw the grin on his face.

"What did you think about when you heard them?" He asked. I opened my mouth to tell him that I didn't know but something stopped me.

I _did_ know. Deep down, I had known all along.

"Wow, we're kinda stupid." I said bluntly. He laughed.

"You're not stupid... just not that fast." He teased. I rolled my eyes. "You're you."

I smiled softly at him and nodded.

"For now. Once I'm away from you... I'll be an evil monster." I said sadly.

"Why me?" He asked, curious. I opened my mouth to tell him exactly how and why but I just couldn't. The words wouldn't come out. I turned to grab my clothes off the dresser but he stopped me, his grip tight, but not too tight, on the top of my arm.

I tried my best not to glare at him as the Darkness crept forward. I think he could see that I was, once again, losing myself. His hands rest on my hip as he pulled me to him.

"Tell me." He whispered. I shook my head and pulled away from him.

"Leave it alone." I said urgently, a hint of fear in my voice. "Just... just let it be." I turned and ran into the bathroom, locking the door.

I took a quick shower and got dressed as fast as I could.

I pulled my hair back, the way I always did. I looked at myself in the mirror, knowing exactly what I would find.

Hazel eyes stared back at me, a hint of red lurking deep within them.

My face was white, even more so than when I was a Blue fledgling. But I didn't look as bad as Stevie Rae and the others had.

When I became a Red fledgling, I had talked to Neferet about treating us better. All of my kind lived in the House of Night. We had blood baggies that we, reluctantly, accepted. We were treated like we were everybody else, if not, better.

We didn't look all scary and gross and disgusting. Just... scary.

I saw the red in my eyes getting more intense, swallowing all of the hazel until all that was left was bright, scarlet eyes with dark shadowy pupils.

I put on my haughty sneer and slowly made my way out of the bathroom. Loren look up at me from Stevie Rae's bed and stood.

I could see the sadness and sympathy he had for me. And that just pissed me off.

"I don't want, or need, your sympathy, Blake." I said, my voice cold and hard. I knelt down next to my bed and lifted the mattress. I pulled out my little silver box and set it in the middle of my bed. I opened it and carefully pulled out the pure silver chain. Onyx wings hung in the middle, silver, moonstone, and diamond outlining every detail, making it shimmer in the luminous light coming from the full moon.

I clasped it around my neck and put the box back under my mattress. I turned and grabbed Loren by the wrist.

"You must stay with me 24/7." I said without looking at him as we made our way down the House of Night's hallways. The Twins, Damien, Jack, Erik, Aphrodite, Darius, and Stark were waiting for me in the same spot they always did.

I smiled at Darius, Damien, and Jack. Jack grinned and said, "Hi." Damien smiled a small smile, the same sadness in his eyes that I saw every day.

Darius bowed his head.

"Priestess." I tensed. He hadn't called me that since I died. I kept my eyes on his as he met mine steadily. I slowly shook my head.

"I am no priestess." I breathed. I felt tears in my eyes and I closed my eyes, opening them very slowly. The Twins, Erik, and Aphrodite looked away as my red eyes brightened and deepened in color.

"We have Drama." The Twins said quietly. I nodded and looked at Damien and Jack.

"I have Poetry." Jack said.

"I have Spanish." Damien said.

"I'm human." Aphrodite said. I sneered at her and she glared right back.

"I suggest you behave. Darius can't protect you from everything." I threatened. Darius's eyes went hard and cold.

I looked at Stark.

"Uh... I'm with you?" He asked. I shook my head and glanced at my watch.

"Not today. I have a meeting with Kalona and Neferet and then we go to the High Council to discuss our plans for world domination... I mean a new world." I said rolling my eyes. I scoffed. "I swear, you blue vamps are dumber than a sack of peanuts."

"Hey! That's offensive!" Erik said. I glared at him and he flinched.

"Now, I am trusting all of you." I warned. "I will not be here to get you to class. If I hear anything from the Raven Mockers or anyone else that you have fucked something up, I will resign my babysitting duties and Neferet will do whatever she pleases. Which is death." I tightened my grip on Loren's wrist. "But you are coming with me."

"I'm not leaving you, Zoey." Stark spoke up. I glared at him but it quickly faded. "I am your Guardian. I stay with you. Always." I smiled and nodded.

"Always." I said, my voice barely a whisper.

"Zoey!" My gaze snapped to Neferet's. I let go of Loren and pushed past Stark.

"Neferet." I said, bowing my head. "How are you this morning?"

Her eyes sparkled and I realized there was no red in them whatsoever.

"I am perfect, thank you." She said pleasantly. "Don't forget about our meeting with the High Council. Along with Kalona and his sons." I nodded and gestured to my "friends".

"I was just telling them what would happen if they... misbehaved." I sneered at them, like they were children. Neferet laughed and took my hand in hers.

"I am guessing your Guardian and Loren are coming with you?" She said. I nodded and reached out for Stark. They both came over to us and I flung my fingers out at the others, sending air to them, letting them know to get moving.

The Twins stumbled and Darius caught Aphrodite.

"Come." I said to my two guys.

—

"Well... that went terribly wrong." I said bluntly, stating the obvious.

Neferet sighed impatiently.

"The meeting with the High Council will have to be put on hold." She said. I groaned. She leaned back against the wall of the tunnel-like hallway.

We had added to the House, a place where Red fledglings, or most of them, slept. It was exactly like the tunnels. No windows and completely made from earth.

I stood next to her and laid my head on her shoulder.

"What do we do now?" I asked, biting my lip.

"We wait." She said, though I could hear her impatience and anger in her voice. I ran my hand down her arm, making her shiver.

"Calm, my Queen." I said seductively.

I saw the disgust written on Stark's face. I glared at him.

"I'm bi, so what!" I nearly yelled, my voice breaking, tears in my eyes.

"You're... what?" He said, confused and shocked.

"I'm bi. You know, bisexual?" I said sarcastically.

"Um... okay. Wow." He said awkwardly.

"You got a problem with that?" I demanded. He shook his head.

"I just wasn't expecting that." He said innocently. I narrowed my eyes at him but let it go.

"Yeah? Well, neither was I." I said with heavy sarcasm.

Neferet's arm went around my waist and I leaned against her.

"So... what are we doing now?" Stark asked. I shrugged a shoulder.

"I've no idea." I said cheerfully. Neferet laughed.

"Just watch everyone. Make sure none of our fledglings," She started.

"Fuck up anything." I finished with a nod. She turned to leave but I took her hand. I pulled her to me and kissed her hard on the mouth. She moaned into my mouth.

I let her go with a smirk. She blushed the slightest bit before she turned and quickly left.

I faced my two guys who were gawking at me with wide eyes, their mouths hanging open.

"I'm bi... and proud of it." I said haughtily.

"Okayyyy." They said together.

**~_Finally Found_~**

I had watched everyone very carefully all night/day. And, like every day, nothing happened. Nothing out of the norm.

I sighed, running a hand through my hair, as I leaned back against the wall of the Rec Hall.

It was a bit awkward with Loren there but I shook it off. I suddenly saw movement from the corner of my eye and I straightened.

I went over to the couple making-out. I jerked the two apart with a small snarl.

"To your own dorms." I demanded. "Now!" They nodded quickly and stumbled out of the Rec Hall.

I went back over to Loren. He gave me a question mark look.

"Kalona wants no sexual interactions between any of the students." I explained. "He doesn't really mind the gay kids, like Damien and Jack. But he wants no guys and girls together."

"Why?" He asked. I glanced around the room.

"He can't get into people's, girls, dreams if they're in the same bed as a guy... well, no. He can't get in if they're with someone they love." I snorted. "It doesn't matter if they hear that or not. The girls here are freakin' pathetic when it comes to him."

"My little A-ya." His voice rang through the Rec Hall, every head turning towards the sound. "Who might you be talking about?" He asked me with his seductive smile. His arms went around my waist and I leaned into him.

"You. Of course." I said, rolling my eyes. My arms slid up his chest and around his neck.

"My fallen angel." I whispered. He kissed me softly. The kiss was soft and sweet and filled with... love? Well... that's weird. But whatever.

I pulled away after a while and bit my lip.

"Will I see you tonight, my little lost love?" He murmured. I sighed sadly and shook my head.

"It's my night to watch the House." I said. "But... I do have some news that I think you'll find very... interesting." He raised a brow.

"And what might that be?" He asked. I glanced at the eyes that were glued to Kalona's face. A snarl ripped its way through my throat and escaped my through my lips. They immediately looked away and I sneered.

"It has to do with one of your sons." I said, pulling away a bit. His eyes brightened.

"Rephaim?" He asked hopefully. I nodded, wary. "Is he okay?"

"Uh..." I hesitated. I could see the fear and concern in his eyes and I shook my head. "It depends on your definition of "okay"."

"What do you mean?" He demanded. I looked around and gestured for him to follow me.

"You, too, Loren." I said. He followed behind us as I led them to the outside tunnels. Stevie Rae, Venus, and Johnny B. were watching the tunnel entrance tonight. They went rigid when they saw us.

"Zoey!" Stevie Rae began. I held up a hand.

"I am doing something for the both of us." I said, my voice harsh. She flinched.

"What do you mean?" She asked.

"Stop lying to me!" I screamed. "You've been hiding things from everyone. Even me. Stevie Rae, I've told you everything. I've never hidden anything from you. First, you kept the rabid red fledglings a secret. And now this..." I trailed off, waiting, and hoping, she would just say it. She bit her lip, not meeting my gaze.

"I'm scared." She whispered, knowing that I had already figured it out.

"Of what?" I asked with a small laugh.

She glanced up at Kalona, then quickly away.

"He's going to be pissed either way, Stevie Rae. But it would be so much better if you told him yourself." I said, my voice s bit softer. She looked at me before she took a deep breath and took a step towards Kalona.

"Kalona..." She hesitated, glanced at me, then looked up at him, straight into his eyes. "I know where Rephaim is." I nodded for her to go on. "I... I always know where he is. It's... it's part of the Imprint." She finally blurted.

"What!" The two red fledglings exclaimed. I saw a few RMs making their way over to us.

"Rephaim!" One said. "He would never let such a thing happen!"

"Explain!" Kalona's voice boomed and echoed through the night.

"I... can we explain in the tunnels?" Stevie Rae asked nervously.

"He does not like the earth, Stevie Rae. You know that." I said calmly. She nodded.

"But that's where he is." She said in a small voice. Kalona nodded and followed her into the tunnels.

It wasn't long before we came to a stop outside of Stevie Rae's room. She pushed the curtains open enough for her to get through. She stuck her hand out through them for us to wait a second. Kalona went to go through but I touched his arm gently. I ran my hand down his arm before taking his hand in mine.

"Calm, my Warrior." I said.

"Rephaim?" Stevie Rae asked quietly, but not too quiet to where we couldn't hear.

"Stevie Rae?" He asked, sounding confused.

"K-Kalona's here." She stuttered.

"Father!" He exclaimed excitedly.

"Y-Yeah. B-but... I'm kinda in trouble." She said.

"What do you mean?" He asked.

"I never told anyone about you. Zoey figured it out." She whispered.

"Nothing will hurt you." He said, his voice getting closer. The curtains opened, revealing Rephaim.

Now, here's the thing... he sounded like himself, you knew it was Rephaim... but he was no Raven Mocker. He was... human.

"Father?" Rephaim threw himself at his father. Kalona stood there, frozen.

"R-Rephaim?" He asked.

"I chose... I chose Light." Rephaim admitted, taking a step back to stand next to Stevie Rae. "I chose Light for Stevie Rae. I love her, Father."

Stevie Rae explained how she had found Rephaim and found herself totally _not_ killing him. And Rephaim told us how he had to give her blood when she had been burning in the sun, creating the Imprint.

I could see that they loved each other, more than anything.

It was silent for a long time before Kalona spoke.

"Do you truly love her, Rephaim?" He asked. Rephaim nodded.

"More than anything. She belongs to me." He said.

"And he belongs to me." Stevie Rae said quietly. Kalona's eyes went to her.

"And what do you mean by that, Red One?" He asked.

"I made a deal with Light. He save Rephaim from Darkness..." She trailed off with a frustrated sigh. "I accidentally called the wrong bull 'cause Aphrodite "forgot" to tell me that I needed to call the _black_ bull."

"So... for the information I got from Darkness, I had to pay a debt." She shuddered and Rephaim wrapped his arms around her. "Rephaim saved me, saying he would pay my debt, which I honestly think was stupid." She looked at Rephaim. "You know you could have died?"

He grinned down at her.

"I'd die for you, Stevie Rae." He murmured.

**Sorry I had to cut it there. REVIEW! **

_**~Jessica Baylin~**_


	3. Goddess of Vengeance & You're Not Alone

**Here's your next chapter. I won't be updating as much for a little while 'cause I'm sick. :( Strep Throat is a BIATCH!**

**So... read and REVIEW!**

Chapter Three

~_Goddess of Vengeance_~

~_But You're Not Alone_~

_Zoey_

"_I'd die for you, Stevie Rae." He murmured. _

I looked up at Kalona. He looked unsure of what to do.

"What shall we do, my Queen?" He asked, dazed. See, that was one thing Neferet didn't know. Kalona didn't want her; he wanted me. He didn't worship her; he worshiped me.

"Rephaim must come back to the House of Night." I said simply.

"What! No!" Stevie Rae cried. I glared at her.

"He needs to be with us. Whether he chose Light or Darkness, does not matter!" My voice was sharp and harsh. "He needs to fight with _us_! At his brothers' side."

"I need to protect my priestess." Rephaim objected, as he stood. "I will not leave her side. I will no longer fight for Darkness or anyone who is in alliance with it."

I stood, the Darkness's hold tightening its grip.

"I have more power over you." My voice was filled with power and warning as it boomed and echoed off of the walls in the tunnels. "Son of Kalona or not, I will kill you if it comes to it!"

Stevie Rae shot up with a snarl, crouching protectively in front of Rephaim. She bared her teeth at me, red flashing in her eyes.

"You will not touch him, Zoey Redbird." Her voice was low and dangerous. A threat.

I threw myself at her with another snarl. She hissed as she hit the wall.

"You will not threaten me!" It was a sharp demand, one that no one could deny. She continued to hiss and growl at me and my fingers tightened around her neck.

"Release her!" I threw Stevie Rae aside and faced Rephaim. I sneered at him, showing off my fangs in the process.

"No one tellssss me what to do. Not Neferet..." I said as I made my way to leave.

"Not even your father." I said as I passed him.

"Well, that went well." Kalona said sarcastically. I continued to glare ahead of us.

"That'ssss the whole reason why we do not messss with them. We do not belong together." I hissed, the anger overwhelming me.

"Where is that Loren boy?" Kalona suddenly asked. I froze and looked around. No where to be seen.

"Ah shit." I said. I stomped back over to the trapdoor. Johnny B. took a step forward, blocking my path. I threw him to the side like he was a small bug.

I made my way through the tunnels.

"Loren Blake!" I screeched, my voice echoing through every tunnel. I'm sure you could hear me all the way inside the House.

I shoved the pissed off Red fledglings away from me as I searched for the pain in the ass.

"He is under our authority now, Redbird." Venus said, baring her teeth as she stood in front of Loren.

I continued to make my way towards him. Stevie Rae grabbed me by the shoulder and I immediately turned around. I grabbed a hold of her and threw her against the tunnel roof, turning back around in the same second.

They all attacked me at once. I snarled and called the elements to me. They came to me with a loud _crack_ and _bang. _

The fledglings backed up against the walls of the tunnels, hissing. I glared at Loren.

"You are under my control. You belong to me. Get out of the tunnels. Now!" I screamed the last word and he winced very slightly.

He slowly shook his head.

"I'm not going back there. I'm not staying anywhere that has all of that Darkness and evil." He said. I smirked at him.

"Really?" I asked. "Well... I disagree. Girls!" Suddenly, ten "rabid" red fledglings ran in, grabbing hold of Loren and dragging him out of the tunnels.

"And that's what I have to say about that." I said as I left the tunnels. When I was outside, I shut the door and focused on all of the elements.

"Seal every tunnel shut. Only I can open them again." I commanded. There was another bang and, suddenly, there was no trap door. I heard screaming which went faint as the hollowness in the dirt from where the door was, was turned into solid rock and dirt. I turned, a smug smile on my face.

I grabbed Loren by the top of his arm.

"Neferet's gonna have some real good fun with you." I said.

He tried to jerk his arm away but I just tightened my grip.

Kalona laughed as he stood on the other side of me.

"You fought my A-ya?" He asked, amused. "No one can defeat her. Not even Nyx herself. She is a goddess."

I felt the truth in his words and I slowed down a bit.

"Kalona... I will talk with Neferet about letting someone else watch, seeing how the others can't get out now. I will not be here tonight, though. I have to talk with an old friend." I said, dazed.

"Yes, my love." He said. He wrapped his arms around me and kissed me softly. He quickly left and I made my way to Nyx's Temple.

"Why are we here?" Loren demanded. I glared at him.

"Do us all a favor and shut the hell up!" I snapped, keeping my voice low.

"Nyx..." I hesitated. The Darkness was not happy with what I was doing. I shrugged it off as best I could and continued. "Nyx... I need to talk to you. No. I need to see you. I need to see you again. I need to know that you haven't given up on me. Or... at least not completely."

I felt tears in my eyes, and Loren's tension left his body. I let my hand slide down his arm and down to my side.

"Zoey..." It was just a small whisper but I gave out a joyous cry as my goddess appeared in front of me. I threw myself at her and she held me tight.

"It has been a while, my daughter." She said sadly. Her figure was wavering, flickering in and out. "There is too much Darkness here. It is hard to come here, let alone stay." She paused. "You have too much Darkness, Zoey. I cannot come to you anymore."

She slowly started to fade and I fell to my knees as I felt part of my spirit being ripped away.

I silently called fire... but nothing happened. I called earth... nothing happened. I did the same with everything else but nothing happened.

"Spirit... come to me?" I called in a broken whisper.

Nothing.

"Zoey..." Loren trailed off when I glared up at him.

There was a sharp pain that shot through my whole body as a bright light appeared.

I screamed for about a second, which was about how long the pain lasted. I looked up at Loren an he took a step back.

"Zoey... they're... they're..."

"Spit it out." I said miserably.

"They're gone." He said. I nodded and stood.

I turned and left the Temple.

I ran to find Neferet.

"Zo—" She froze when she saw me.

"The war has begun." I said grimly.

"That wretched goddess!" She exclaimed in disgust. "What do we do first, my love?"

I looked out the window at the Temple that stood, tall and powerful.

"Burn the Temple." I said.

There were screams as fledglings watched the Temple burn.

"Silence!" Neferet's voice boomed with power, power that I no longer had. Or... that was what Nyx thought.

"Nyx has lied to all of us!" There were cries of outrage. She looked at me and nodded.

"Nyx took my gifts and Mark away because I made a small mistake." I said, trying to stay strong. "She took everything away from me because I hadn't talked to her. Because I was on Neferet's side, not hers. We are not evil. We are just another side of Light. Nyx says she never takes away what she gives to her children!"

I saw Stark and my friends, sobbing.

The Raven Mockers were fidgeting in excitement.

"She lies!" Neferet and I spoke as one.

"We are not evil." We said. "We are another side of Light. We have power. Power she does not want us to have because she wants to be more powerful than us. She wants her "children" to be below her. She wants us to be weak!"

I looked at every fledgling. They believed us!

"We are not evil!" Neferet, Kalona, the Raven Mockers, and I spoke together as one. "We are another side of Light!"

All eyes were on us. Neferet rested her hand on my left shoulder as Kalona rested his on my right. All eyes went to mine.

"Let the war... BEGIN!" They all cheered and I held my hand above my head and everyone else did the same.

I noticed my Marks returning, only this time... they were different. At first, there was the normal sapphire blue. Then, red Marks overlapped them slightly, making somewhat of a blur. Then, black decorated the other side of the intricate patterns of blue.

A bright light appeared in the palm of every hand, including mine.

It became so bright that we all had to look away, before it suddenly disappeared.

"Go to your dorms. All of you. You will start your training tomorrow." I said, my voice loud and clear.

I turned to Neferet and Kalona.

"Like a goddess." Neferet breathed. Kalona shook his head.

"She is a goddess." He said. In between and behind them, Loren's eyes met mine.

"A Goddess of Vengeance." I said.

—

"So... what's the plan?" Neferet asked as we made our way down the dorms. We checked every room in every building in the entire House of Night.

"Simple. You will get your war with humans." I said. "And I am going to the Otherworld."

They gasped. "To do what?" She demanded, fear in her eyes.

"Nyx is going to see just how powerful I really am." I said grimly.

—

"What the hell is wrong with you!" I sighed as I sat down on my bed.

"Nothing is wrong with me, Loren." I said.

"Goddess of Vengeance?" He asked, totally pissed. I stood abruptly and bared my teeth at him. With a hiss, I forced myself back down on the bed. I closed my eyes, feeling the Darkness leave me.

I opened my eyes and threw myself into Loren's arms, sobbing.

"She left me, Loren." I whimpered.

"She didn't want to, Zoey." He whispered. "But you embraced Darkness. You have too much. It made it hard for her to stay, to hold onto you. She had no choice."

I bit my lip and closed my eyes.

I felt the world around me fading and I smiled as everything went dark.

I laughed as I found myself in the Otherworld.

"Zoey?" A panicked voice spoke from behind me. I turned, my smile fading as I saw Nyx.

"What are you doing here?" She asked, fear still in her voice.

"So what? Now you're afraid of me?" I asked, tears in my eyes. I looked away.

I saw a sudden movement and I turned just in time to see, surprise, surprise, Erebus coming at me with a really shiny, _really sharp_ sward.

I gasped as I felt the sharp, stabbing pain in my stomach, but the sound caught in my throat.

Erebus jerked the sward out of me, causing me to fall to the ground.

I looked at Nyx, my eyes pleading. There were tears falling down her face.

I reached out to her.

"Don't... leave... me..." I managed to get out before I felt my soul being ripped from the Otherworld.

"You are banned from the Otherworld, body and soul!" Erebus said, his voice booming with power. I screamed as I began to fall and fall and fall...

I screamed in pain and in fear as I fell. The pain was worse than anything I had ever felt in my entire life.

"By the gods!" A familiar voice gasped.

"How... what happened...?" Neferet stuttered.

I groaned in pain, curling in on myself.

I slowly opened my eyes to blackness. The blackness was swept away by Kalona's hand... literally.

Loren, Neferet, and Stark stared at me with wide, disbelieving eyes.

Kalona's were soft and sad and knowing.

"You fell." He said. I whimpered. I couldn't find my voice. A sudden wave of pain washed over me and I cried out in desperation.

He held me sit up and I realized what the black stuff was. I groaned and put my face in my hands.

Great. Because having big, _black_ wings on my back totally screamed _Chosen One of Nyx! _

"What happened, Zoey?" Stark asked in a broken voice. I looked up at him miserably. I felt tears streaming down my face. I put my face back in my hand and screamed in pain. It wasn't just physical, but emotional. The emotional pain was so powerful that it was physical, adding to the sharp, searing pain that I felt all over my body.

All of this pain was overwhelming.

"Leave. All of you." Kalona said quietly. They didn't move.

"I'm not leaving her." Stark said.

"Me neither." Neferet and Loren said together.

I covered my ears with both of my hands.

"Get out! Can't you see she wants to be alone!" He yelled. They flinched and looked at me.

"Go!" The word was ripped from my broken soul.

They, reluctantly, left the room, shutting the door behind them.

"Zoey." Kalona breathed. He pulled me into his arms and set me on my bed. My heart began to burn and I arched my back and screamed.

"Shh, shh." He soothed. He laid next to me, pulling me to his chest, his arms tight around me.

After what seemed like eternity, the pain went from a sharp, burning pain, to a steady throbbing, like blood pulsing under a bruise.

I sniffled and whimpered.

"I know. I know." He whispered, stroking my hair. I slowly sat up, pulling my knees to my chest, wrapping my arms around them.

He sat up, too, always keeping his arms around me.

"What happened, Zoey?" He asked softly.

"I am banned from the Otherworld." I said, my broken voice filled with pain and desperation.

"Nyx banned you?" He said, confused. I shook my head. "Erebus?" I nodded. I suddenly remembered something. I lifted my shirt up, revealing my stomach. He gasped and I nodded once more.

There was a totally disgusting looking stab wound with lots of blood surrounding it.

Already, it was healing. After only a minute, the wound was nothing but a faint scar. I felt a tingly feeling on my chest and I saw that the scar was nearly gone.

I pulled my shirt back down, covering my stomach.

"One of the perks with being immortal." Kalona said slowly. I looked at him, my eyes boring into his.

"How..." I couldn't get my voice to work right. He watched me, waiting.

I took a few deep breaths and tried again.

"How did you get better?" I asked in a small voice.

It was silent for a long time before he spoke again.

"I... I didn't really have a choice." He started. "I will live for eternity so I couldn't go on and on about killing myself. I couldn't just sit around for lifetimes thinking about horrible my new life was..." He stopped abruptly.

"And you embraced Darkness." I said.

"Yes. I did. Just like you." He said quietly. I shook my head.

"That's why I f-fell." I stumbled over the word. "I chose Darkness. I declared war on the Otherworld... on Nyx."

The pain in my chest reappeared, just as strong as before. He pulled me to him, holding me and soothing me as I sobbed and screamed in pain.

—

I sniffled again, sitting in the same place I had been for the past few days.

Well... I thought it had been a few days. When Loren, Stark, and Neferet burst through the door and into my room, I started thinking that it had been longer than just a few days.

"That's it, Zoey!" Neferet exclaimed.

"We're getting you out of here." Stark said. Loren just stood there, staring at me.

"I'm... how... days..." I sighed in frustration as, once again, my voice chose not to work.

"Days!" Neferet said with a humorless laugh. "You've been in here for almost a month. Kalona kept telling us to give you time and space but I say fuck that! Zoey, I understand that you went through some bad shit, but you need to get over it!"

And that was it. I shot up just as Kalona came running in.

"You know absolutely nothing!" I screamed. "How would you feel if you were banned from the one place you felt normal and someone told you to get over it! I was banned from the Otherworld, okay?" My voice broke at the end.

"Erebus banned me, body and soul. Forever." I whispered. "I can never go there again. I have no home anymore!" I pushed past them and ran out of the room. I heard them calling my name but they were stopped by a really pissed off Kalona.

I ran outside and stopped.

Everything looked so out of place without Nyx's temple.

I fell to my knees.

"Why?" I whispered brokenly. "Why did you leave me?" I buried my face in my hands as I quietly sobbed.

I felt many stares and I slowly looked up. I'm sure that every fledgling in the entire House of Night was out there. They were all staring at me, eyes wide, mouths hanging open.

Some, though... some cried when they saw me.

The Twins, Damien and Jack, Aphrodite and Darius, and Erik stared at me in shock.

Kalona came over to me and helped me up.

He wrapped an arm around my shoulders.

"Leave. All of you!" He demanded. They all scurried away. All except my friends.

They ran over to me but I took a step back.

The Twins covered their mouths as they silently cried. Aphrodite took a hesitant step towards me.

"You're... immortal?" Her voice was barely above a whisper. I nodded.

"H-How?" Jack stuttered.

"What do you think, human?" Kalona snapped.

"Nobody asked you, Jackass." She nearly snarled back at him.

"Can't you see that you are just hurting her even more than she is?" He said.

"How the hell would you know, bird boy?" She said with a sneer.

"Because he fell." I said, my voice harsh but rough with pain. She paused and looked at me.

"Your point?" She asked slowly.

"I have been banned from the Otherworld." I said. "By Erebus. Body and soul."

They went silent, stunned.

"I went from Zoey Redbird, Chosen One of Nyx, with affinities for all five of the elements, to rejecting the Change and turning into a bloodthirsty monster, all to end in me falling from the Otherworld." I said. I looked at Neferet and shook my head. "There are reasons why when you die, you're supposed to stay dead."

She bit her lip, hurt. I went over to her and caressed her cheek.

"I'm leaving." I said, pulling away.

I turned from her and left my friends standing there, too shocked to do anything.

—

I sighed.

It had been almost a year since I had "left" the Tulsa House of Night.

Nothing much had happened since I had walked away from my used-to-be home.

The hardest part was knowing that I could literally just jump down from the tree I was in and be within the walls of the Tulsa House.

I had gotten caught a total of once by a Raven Mocker. He then made sure he was the only one who ever came near where I was sitting.

I watched my friends live their lives.

Erin had Changed into a full vampyre almost a month after she began her third year at the House. Shaunee Changed at the same time which I thought was a total duh.

Aphrodite was still human but everyone treated her with respect.

Damien and Jack were still fledglings but they had changed. Jack rarely ever smiled anymore and Damien never smiled period.

Darius looked kinda dead since I "left". He had tried to keep everyone upbeat and, well, normal, but after about four to five months, he turned into one of the living undead.

Neferet had become... less evil since I left. She started loving a little more.

I hadn't seen much of Kalona but I saw plenty of Loren, Stark, and Erik. Unfortunately.

Loren was indescribable. All I could say was dead. He looked... dead.

Stark had turned into the monster he was before he became my Warrior/Guardian. He did what he wanted, raped the girls he wanted to rape, and drank from whoever he wanted to drink from. I cried every time I saw him.

Erik was like a little, lost puppy. I knew he loved me. He loved me more than anything. And that hurt my heart.

I took a deep breath and let it out in a long sigh.

"Priestess?" A familiar voice asked quietly. I looked down to see a familiar face.

"Jameson. How are you?" I asked with a sad smile. Jameson was one of the many Raven Mockers.

"I am fine, Priestess. But I think the question is how are _you_?" He said.

I sighed heavily and shook my head.

"I don't know, Jameson. I just don't know." I said truthfully.

"I think you should go back to them." He said after a long silence.

"I know." I said.

I straightened and jumped down from the tree, landing on the big wall surrounding the House.

"Blessed be, Fallen One." He said, bowing. I bowed my head to him.

"Blessed be, Old One." I replied.

I jumped off of the wall and looked around.

I smiled up at the bright sun-lit sky. I had missed the sun in the few months I had been a vamp fledgling. Especially a Red fledgling.

I slowly made my way to the House. I heard the Raven Mockers whispering.

"High Priestess Zoey!" I heard a voice exclaim happily. I turned and grinned at the small group of humans.

There were three humans that lived at the House.

Anna Clair, Anna Mae, and Ann Marie. The Triplets.

Anna Clair could talk to things. She could talk to any living thing, trees, flowers, animals, even the weather. She could speak to souls from the Otherworld. She could literally speak to anything from anywhere without having to get up.

Anna Mae could change the way she looked. She could change her voice, her appearance, her scent, everything. Every little detail, she could change. She was literally a different person. She could mix and match different things together. She could do the same exact thing to others.

Anna Marie was the strangest of them all. She could touch something and she would see the past of it. If she were to go into a room where something horrible happened, she would feel the fear and horror that the people felt as that horrible thing happened. She can also sort of see how it happened in bits and pieces.

They ran over to me.

Anna Clair's hair was straight and golden blonde. Her eyes were a warm golden color. She was fifteen and absolutely gorgeous.

The other two were the same, yet different at the same time.

Anna Mae had golden blonde hair that bounced around her face in luscious curls, reminding me too much of Stevie Rae. Her eyes were auburn and she, unlike her goddess-like sister, looked more plain. She was still beautiful, but she had changed her appearance to her mood. Her appearance changed immediately when she saw me.

Her hair was silver and sparkled in the sunlight. Her eyes were a bright silvery-white.

I hugged them to me, a smile on my face.

Anna Marie had perfectly red eyes. They weren't too dark, not too bright. They were the color of perfect blood and sparkled in the sun; shimmered in the moonlight.

Her hair was golden blonde and perfectly straight. She had a cruel beauty to her, yet, at the same time, she looked like a strong warrior.

They laughed as they hugged me.

"Where is Kalona?" I asked them.

They pointed at the House together.

"In his room. Like always." They said as one. I couldn't help but smile at their English accent.

"Thanks!" I said as I ran towards the House.

I took a deep breath and knocked on the door.

"You should be asleep." His voice called through the door. I winced at the pure misery in his voice. I heard a small giggled behind me and I looked over my shoulder. I smiled and mouth a quick, "Thank you" at the auburn eyes that looked back at me.

"I couldn't sleep." I said with a sad smile. "Bad dream."

He nodded.

"Why did you come here?" He asked. I shrugged a shoulder.

"These three human girls were outside. They told me where to go." I said innocently. He nodded and let me in.

As I walked in, I felt the disguise fade.

I let a slow grin spread across my face as I turned to face him.

"Zoey!" He gasped. He wrapped his arms around me and swung me around once. I laughed and wound my arms around him.

"Yeah, yeah." I said with a roll of my eyes.

"Where have you been?" He asked, his eyes sparkling.

"Honestly? I never left." I said. He looked confused and I giggled. "Jameson is very... interesting."

"Jameson?" He asked, still confused. I _tsked. _

"For an immortal, you're not really that bright." I said sadly. "He made sure that he was the only one that watched the east wall by the big oak tree. You know... the tree I have been hiding in for the past year."

I caressed his cheek. I slowly let my hand slide down to his neck and down his chest.

"I never saw you. You stayed in here... didn't you?" I asked, my voice soft. He nodded. "Why?"

I suggested him to say something like he missed me or my situation had brought back bad memories. But... his next words changed everything.

"I love you." He said.

**OMG! It's so freakin' sweet I'm gonna barf. Soooo... how was it? Did you like it? Well, did ya? REVIEW!**

_**~Jessica Baylin~ **_


	4. When You Fall  You Fall Hard

**Heyyyy. I know, know. It's been, like, forever. And, because it's been over three months since I last updated, you get a LONG chapter. It's probably going to wind up being ten pages, total. Yeah. You get Chapter Four and what was going to be Chapter Five but is now Chapter Four Part II. READ THE BOLD! I know you want to just read the story, but READ THE BOLD! **

**Anyways, here's your next chapter. Hope you like it... love it... whatever... ENJOY! **

**BTW: Jack is already... dead. **Sobs** I can't make myself right that part so... he died in the three months I didn't update this story. **

Chapter Four

~_When You Fall..._~

_Zoey_

I bit my lip, not knowing what to say to that. He smiled sadly.

"I know, Zoey. I know." He whispered. He caressed my cheek and I felt myself lean into him. "Are you any better?"

I let my eyes close as I felt the pain return. I slowly shook my head.

"No. Nothing has changed." I whispered. He pulled me back into his arms and I laid my head on his chest.

"Do you know where Neferet is?" I asked curiously. He nodded.

"I must warn you, she is quite horrifying." He said.

"What?" I said, confused.

"She's... caring and... considerate." I threw my head back and laughed.

"Yes, yes. I've noticed." I said, still laughing.

"Have you seen...?" He trailed off and, by the look in his eyes, I knew exactly what he was talking about. I nodded.

"I'm going to deal with him... might as well do it now. Where is he?" I asked, dreading what was to come.

"When you hear moaning, you're close." He said grimly.

"Unfortunately, I agree." I said, my voice bland. His eyes filled with a deep sadness that I didn't want to see.

"Don't. Don't feel sorry for me." I said, shaking my head.

"Zoey..." I cut him off by pressing my lips to his.

"I'll be fine... considering the circumstances. I... I love you." The last words were nothing but a breath, but he smiled and kissed me once more, and I found myself melting in his arms.

He pulled away after a few moments and I bit my lip. He smiled seductively.

"Good luck." he said. I took a deep breath.

"I'll need it." I said under my breath.

I made my way through the House, looking for Stark's old room. When I finally found it, I opened the door.

It hurt to see him again. My heart ached, and the burn I had gotten to know so well returned to my chest.

I went over to the bed where he lay and stared down at him. I slowly reached out and, barely touching him, brushed my fingers over his lips. His eyes flew open but I did not move.

The pain in my chest increased when I saw the blood red in his cold, hard eyes.

"What has become of you?" I whispered, sinking to my knees. His eyes were wide as he took me in. I bowed my head and silently cried, not wanting him to see my tears.

"What are you doing here?" His voice was void of any emotion.

"I never left." I mumbled.

"What do you mean?" He asked, his voice carrying a hint of emotion. I finally looked up.

"I stayed in the big oak by the east wall, watching. I've been watching you, Stark." More tears fell. "Why? Why did you become this monster? Why did you turn back?"

He didn't answer. He just stared at me, eyes hard and cold, his face betraying no emotions.

"And... the worst part of it all... is that it's my fault. I screwed up again. I keep screwing up over and over again." I put my face in my hands with the sob.

It was all my fault. If I hadn't have let my depression get to me, I wouldn't have left. And if I hadn't of left, Stark wouldn't be the monster he was now.

I looked up when I felt his fingers wrap around my wrist.

Stark blinked a few times and he looked at me as if he was really seeing me.

I threw myself into his arms, burying my face in his neck.

"I've missed you." I murmured, ignoring the fact that he stayed completely still, arms at his side.

"You left." He said, his voice hard. I flinched but nodded.

"I know." I whispered. "I didn't want to. I didn't want a lot of things but... I couldn't stay, yet... at the same time... I couldn't leave. So I just... watched. And what I saw was a horror movie come to life."

I finally looked up and met his cold glare.

"You let the monster take control, Stark. And you know it. I know it. Everyone knows it." He snarled but I remained calm... somewhat.

I took his face in my hands.

"Tell me why, Stark. Tell me why." I breathed.

It was silent for the longest time before he spoke.

"You left." He said, hurt flashing in his eyes before it disappeared. I bit my lip, not wanting to cry anymore. It was no use, though. More tears fell and I couldn't meet his gaze anymore. My hands slid from his face, down his neck, and rested against his chest.

"I'm sorry, Stark. I'm more sorry than I can tell you. I'm sorry for... everything. For all of my screw-ups and for hurting everyone... for hurting you." I whispered, looking back at him. I shook my head.

"But please... if you're going to be pissed or mad at anyone, be mad at me. Don't hurt anyone else. If you're going to hurt anyone, hurt me. Because I'm the only one who deserves it."

Once again, silence fell over us.

Slowly, his arms wound around me, pulling me closer to him.

I laid my head on his shoulder, taking in his scent.

"I'm sorry..." I whispered again.

"Don't be." He whispered. I felt my heart soar at the sound of his voice, not the monster's. I looked up and saw a small, sad, smile on his face.

I kissed him hard on the mouth, earning a chuckle from him... which ended in a moan.

I gently pushed him away and looked away.

"I want to be with you, I truly do..." I looked back at him and shook my head. "But I'm not ready. I... I'm too broken right now. I need... I need more time to be fixed."

He kissed me softly. It lasted for only a small moment before he pulled away.

"I love you, Zoey." He whispered, letting me go. I bit my lip, trying (unsuccessfully) not to smile. He winked at me and gave me that cocky smile I had missed so much.

As I opened the door, I heard the two words that I had missed hearing so much.

"My lady."

I grinned for the first time in ages as I quietly closed the door.

"I love you, too, my Guardian." I whispered, calling Darkness to carry the words to him.

I immediately started running.

I stopped when I saw it. I just stood there, staring.

I gnawed on my lip, unsure. I finally turned and nearly ran in to Kalona.

His arms were folded across his chest as he stared down at me disapprovingly.

"Are you following me?" I blurted, nervous.

"You need to see him. No. He needs to see you. He's one step away from killing himself." He said firmly.

I nodded and, giving him a quick kiss, I turned and made my way to the Poet's Loft.

I knocked on the door and immediately wished I hadn't.

"I can't do this." I whispered as I bowed my head in misery. I couldn't bear to see another broken soul that was, of course, caused by none other than myself.

The door opened and I could tell that he froze. I could feel the tension running through him, bouncing off the walls, and into me. That was one of the many things I had developed to do. Though, sometimes, it got a little out of control.

"Zoey..." I finally looked up and I gave in.

"Do you hate me?" I whimpered, desperation in my voice.

He pulled me into his arms and kissed me with everything he had.

I lost control and he shivered. I immediately jerked away from him.

"Sorry... I still haven't mastered that." I said, sounding more like myself than I had in ages.

He just laughed and pulled me back in his arms, trembling the slightest bit. I snuggled closer to him, taking in his scent, the feel of his arms around me, everything.

Goddess, I loved him!

I shut the door and, the second it clicked shut, my lips were on his. I needed him. I hadn't touched him, held him, in a year. And now that I finally had him... it was overwhelming.

I suddenly found myself on his bed, Loren hovering over me, his lips kissing hungrily down my neck. He slid his hands up my shirt and I moaned as he pulled it over my head. He kissed me again, long and hard, taking my breath away.

"I love you..." I breathed when he pulled away.

"My Zoey..." He whispered, desperation in his voice. I took his face in my hands.

"I'm not gonna leave you. Not again." I said, my eyes boring into his. "I'll never leave you. I love you, Loren."

His hands slid around my waist, up my back, and unclasped my bra.

I mentally rolled my eyes. Seriously. What was up with men and sex? But my body... said other things.

"I love you, too... so much..." He whispered. He kissed me softly. He kissed my neck... my throat... my collarbone...

He removed the rest of my clothes and his hand rubbed over my wet center.

I moaned, arching my back against him.

"Goddess, I've missed you!" He breathed, his lips brushing against my ear.

I moaned and writhed underneath him. I felt one of his fingers enter me and I moaned. He added another finger and pumped them in and out, earning more moans from me.

He added another finger and brought his lips back to mine. I thrust into his fingers, suddenly wanting more. He pulled his fingers out and spread my legs wider. He slowly lowered himself down my body. He ran his tongue over my core and I threw my head back, moaning.

He slowly, agonizingly so, made his way back up my body. His lips came back to mine and I kissed him with everything I had.

I gasped as he entered me and I threw my head back, not even trying to hold back the moans that escaped my lips.

He bit into my neck, earning him another moan. I ran my hands up and down his back, letting my nails dig into the skin, grinning when he moaned. He spread my legs farther, burying himself deep within me, and I kissed him harder then before.

I met his thrusts with my own, still not having enough of him.

"Cum for me, baby." He whispered in my ear. His heated words sent me over the edge and I let my head fall back, a slow moan escaping my parted lips. I trembled as I reached my peak. He came with me and collapsed on top of me.

He pulled out of me and laid next to me. He pulled me close to him, and I buried my face in the crook of his neck.

"I love you." I said, kissing his neck. His arms tightened around me.

"Well... I sure hope you don't go around screwing with guys you don't love, Z." He said with a laugh. I glared at him and his laughing ceased. "Sorry, Zoey."

I nodded slowly.

"Yeah. You'll do well to remember who's in control in _this_ relationship." I said haughtily. I kissed his lips softly.

I felt his amusement as I pulled away.

"Really? And who would that be?" He teased, a sparkle in his eyes. I grinned evilly as I pushed him onto his back and straddled him. I ran my hands down his chest as I lowered myself on him. He moaned, his eyes closing, but I managed to bite back my own moans as I pleasured him.

I kissed him, a slight smile on my face.

"I'm the big vamp here." I said sweetly.

"You're a fledgling." He countered. I raised a brow.

"Do I need to show you exactly what I can do?" I asked, my voice hard and slightly cold. There was a familiar harshness to my voice that scared even me. Darkness was taking its hold once more. It wanted me. And, by God, it was going to have me.

Loren's eyes held concern, worry, love, and fear. But... it was fear _for_ me. Not _of_ me. Never of me...

I blinked a few times and shook my head, trying to clear the haze.

I snuggled closer to my lover. His arms tightened around me and I sighed happily.

"Sometimes... I feel as if everything is just going to... disappear." I said, an eerie calmness in my voice. "It's like... whenever I'm really happy or when I'm with you... everything feels so... delicate. Like just breathing would destroy it."

"I know exactly what you mean, love." He said softly. I smiled as I let my eyes fall closed. I wouldn't sleep, of course. I was immortal. I didn't sleep much. I didn't need it. It was just... normal for me to do it.

I raised myself off of Loren and he groaned. I grinned down at him.

"I've got to find Neferet. I've heard she's horrifyingly loving." I said calmly. He snorted before he outright laughed. I kissed him once more.

"Do you know how much I love you?" I asked him.

"Probably as much as I love you." He said. I narrowed my eyes at him.

"Well, that better be a lot." I said. He chuckled, kissing my lips, my neck, my throat, my collarbone.

"It's never ending." He breathed.

I pulled away and smiled sweetly before I quickly got dressed.

"You might want to fix your hair before you go find your mistress." Loren said when I was out the door. I opened my mouth, as if to say something. I shook my head, slowly turning to face him. He had his arms behind his head, a smile on his face.

"That was my plan." I said. "Why..." I trailed off, shaking my head, as I opened the door.

"You might want to change, too. You don't want her to know you were with me. I hear demons smell everything." He said bluntly.

"Oh, yes. Because the smell of sex is so new to her." I said sarcastically, rolling my eyes as I shut the door behind me. I heard his laughter and a smile spread across my face. I quickly ran a brush through my hair as I made my way down the halls of the House of Night. I quickly found my old room and changed into my blood red frilly silk top and my black skinny jeans.

I pulled my hair up in my traditional way and headed out.

I knocked on the door and bit my lip, suddenly nervous.

"Coming." I sighed softly as I heard her voice.

The door opened and she froze.

I could see the difference from the Neferet I knew, and the Neferet that stood before me. There was barely any Darkness in her eyes or around her. Her heart, I could feel, was her own. Darkness did not own her, as it had.

I bit my lip once more, this time, trying to hide a smile.

"I'm baaaack!" I said happily.

Tears in her eyes, she threw her arms around me. I laughed, wrapping my arms around her.

She pulled away and sniffed. She grimaced.

"You smell—" I cut her off.

"Yeah, yeah! I know. Please. Don't say it!" I begged. She laughed.

"Ah, Zoeybird. You have always been... prudy." She said. I rolled my eyes with a groan.

"Oh, Goddess! You've been hanging around Aphrodite _way_ too much." I said. I pushed her back into her room, closing the door behind us.

"I've missed you, love." She whispered, the tears finally falling. I gently wiped them away.

"I've missed you, too. But I was never far away, you know. I was in the big oak. All along. I could watch... but I couldn't touch." I whispered, my voice breaking. I pulled her closer to me, my lips finally meeting hers in what seemed like forever.

We pulled away after a few moments.

"I love you, Neferet. So much." I whispered.

"I love you, too, Zoey. Very much... but..."

See, I knew this was coming. I had two theories.

She was seeing someone else.

She couldn't be with me unless I dumped Loren, Stark, and Kalona. Which was understandable.

So... either way... I was going to be the one hurt. I didn't like that. And... apparently... neither did Darkness.

"But what?" I asked, an eerie calmness creeping into my voice. The tone that only came when Darkness was getting... testy.

"I can't do this anymore." She whispered. "Either you love me enough to dump the others... or you love them too much to be with just me. And, if that's the case... then I can't be with you."

Yeah. I liked evil Neferet better. And that was the cold, hard truth.

Darkness agreed. Very much so.

Neferet was suddenly pressed up against the door, her hands pinned on either side of her head. Pinned by me.

My eyes bored into hers. Her eyes were wide and filled with fear, hurt, and betrayal.

I think that was what broke me. I let her go, hiding my face in my hands with a groan.

"Go away." I moaned.

"Zoey?" Neferet took a step towards me. My reaction surprised even me.

I let out a long hiss, baring my fangs. The sound echoed in the room eerily.

I blinked a few times and shook my head.

"Dammit!" I exclaimed. I finally grabbed her by the shoulders.

"How did you get rid of it! How!" I cried. I sank to the floor, tears streaming down my face. "How?"

Neferet knelt down next to me, holding me close to her.

"I honestly don't know. I guess... you leaving broke something." She said, unsure. I laid my head on her shoulder and kissed her neck.

"I love you... Goddess, I love you!" I breathed, tears in my eyes. I finally pulled away, taking her face in my hands.

"I'm gonna fix this. Everything. I'll find a way." Really? You, Zoey Redbird, Queen of Screwing Things Up, are going to fix this cluster f? I bit my lip. "I'm gonna need some help... Darkness?"

Dark tendrils wrapped around my body, caressing my body possessively.

"I need your help." I said calmly.

_What do you need, my love._ I shivered at his menacing voice.

"You know what I need, Äna." I said with a smile. He chuckled, the sound low and seductive.

Neferet's eyes were wide and filled with terror. Yet... there was a hunger hidden deep within her, I could feel it, sense it... smell it.

_She left me! She failed! You must succeed at what she failed to do. And you know what that means... _

I swallowed.

"Yessss. I do... but I will not kill her. I will kill none of those who I love. I find more pleasure out of killing those I hate. Their screams are more... victorious." I said with an evil smile. I meant every I said, though I knew that they were evil, the exact words that, about a year ago, I would be disgusted with. But now... they were true... as much as I hated it. I hated Darkness. Yet I adored him at the same time. Now why was that?

_Life... _Darkness breathed. I laughed at his answer.

"Yes. The answer to everything horrible is life." I agreed. "Which is a sad thing."

Darkness laughed with me before he began to fade.

_I will help you with whatever you need, my love. _

And then he left. Leaving me and Neferet alone.

"I can _so totally_ explain." I said.

_**I should totally stop right there. But... I'm gonna be nice. Seeing how I haven't updated in three months... over three months. Anyways, I just need to thank a few people first. **_

_**Captain Vox – for your hard but true words. Life sucks. Especially right now. But there's not much I can do about it. I want to thank you, also, for being there, for listening to all of my bitching and complaining. **_

_**Panky95 – for being... well... you. You make me laugh, even in times like this. You know many of my secrets (you know what I mean) and you haven't reported me to any mental facilities... yet. I also want to thank you for putting up with my crap as well. **_

_**Littlewerepire7 – I haven't talked to you in a while, and I'm sorry for that. I do that a lot, and I'm trying to fix that. I'll try to fit you into the fifteen-million people I chat with. you were my first friend on fanfiction and we talked ALL THE TIME. Now... it's like you never existed. And I'm sorry. **_

_**I also want to say I'm sorry for all of the authors that were so happy with my... ecstatic reviews. I have not reviewed much at all anymore. I have a limited time online and many sites to fit in that small time. jb_makeachange1: follow her on twitter! She's amazing. I talk to her... a lot. She is another of the few people helping me through this... situation. **_

_**I also have kidzworld. I have kidzworld, fanfiction, sometimes I check on fictionpress, and twitter. I barely have time to READ fanfics anymore. PLUS, I have three months worth of Algebra to do, so my mom makes me do it all day Friday, Saturday, AND Sunday. So... it will be a slow year this year for updates and such. READ MY PROFILE! VOTE!**_

_**Now... on with the story... **_

~_You Fall Hard_~

Neferet sighed, running a hand through her hair.

"I know, I know. I screwed up... again." I said in frustration. "I'm sorry! Argh! This is killing me! I don't know what to do. I'm so confused and... I don't feel worthy of doing _anything_! Of having _anyone_! I don't even deserve death!"

Neferet stared at me, shocked.

"What are you talking about?" She asked, still stunned. I sighed, standing. I began to pace, unable to stay still much longer.

"Since I... fell," my voice broke on the word, tears threatening to fall. "I haven't felt like me. Understandable, right?" I laughed bitterly, shaking my head. "I thought of just going back to the goddess. Asking, begging, for her forgiveness. I would do anything. And I would if... if I didn't feel this way. I don't feel worthy of her anymore. I'm nothing. I... I don't mean anything. I'm worthless. Lost. Hated. Pain. That's all I feel. Lots and lots of pain." My voice turned hard and... slightly cold.

"You know... I barely even remember how I fell. No. I remember how. Just not why. Why's are not important anymore. Nothing is. It's like a severe case of depression. But... suicide will not end it. I can't even go to Hell! Hell hates me!"

Neferet sat on her bed quietly, staring at me as if she had no idea what to do. Once again, understandable. I was on the verge of insanity, and she knew it. Hell, I'm sure the goddess herself knew it.

It was then that I noticed that we weren't quite alone.

Kalona's eyes were sad as he entered Neferet's room, my friends following close behind him.

Aphrodite was the first to break the intense silence.

"You know... I know this probably won't help but... you may feel like your nothing... but you're..." She bit her lip, as if saying the words hurt her. "You're kinda, sorta everything to us." She rushed the words, wanting to hurry up and get them out. She glared at me.

"And you better not tell anyone I said that." She turned on my friends. "Same with you!"

The Twins sighed, slapping their palms to their foreheads.

"What?" Aphrodite said innocently. I let my head fall. Would she ever learn? "Oh. Zoey? Did I tell you? Um... I'm pregnant."

I froze. What!

I slowly lifted my head to look at her.

She smiled brightly.

"Yea!" She cheered. I just stared at her before I let out a blood curdling scream.

"Ohmigoddess! What the hell!" She exclaimed when I was done. I was busy hyperventilating.

"No, no, no, no, no! We can NOT have another Aphrodite! I can't handle that." I said, close to tears. She glared at me and Darius wrapped his arms around her.

"My love," He murmured. She sighed as he kissed her temple.

"Oh my God." I breathed. "Really? Are you sure you're not just desperate for someone to love you and your body is having pregnancy symptoms?"

The Twins busted out laughing while the others tried to keep a straight face.

I sighed and ran a hand through my hair.

"Coming from the fallen." Aphrodite said through gritted teeth. Everything went silent then as I grabbed Aphrodite by the neck and pressed her against the door with a hiss.

Darius placed his hand on my shoulder, his grip strong.

Aphrodite eyed me calmly, as if she knew Darius could protect her.

Suddenly, the Darkness swelled inside me. My anger boiled, my vision turning red. Darkness was hungry, and he wanted the human. This... Aphrodite.

I smiled sweetly at her before I slashed my hand across her face. It was sure to leave a scar.

Darius did something completely unexpected and utterly unbelievable then. His grip tightened and he threw me backwards. I caught myself before I hit the floor, flipping myself so that I was facing the floor, my hands catching me, breaking the fall. I swiftly turned so that I was crouched on the floor, glaring at Darius and Aphrodite.

"Darknessss is hhhhungry." I hissed. There was an eagerness in my voice and I was shaking with excitement and anticipation.

Darius stood in front of Aphrodite, his cold, hard eyes focused only on me.

"Zoey?" Stevie Rae took a step towards me, hands up in the universal sign of surrender; she wasn't going to do anything funny. "I don't think Aphrodite meant it like that; ya know she can be... mean. Really mean, but she was just jokin' 'round."

"She ruined my face!" Aphrodite nearly screamed. I sneered at her.

"I will ruin more than just your face." I said in an eerie calm voice.

"Zoey Redbird!" Darius' voice was harsh, demanding. My gaze snapped to his. "Control yourself."

A hiss escaped my lips, my teeth bared in warning, my body crouched for the hunt.

"Darkness is hungry, Darius." I said calmly, sounding more like myself. "I must give him what he wants. And he wants Aphrodite... dead."

I lunged... but not towards Darius. No. I pushed myself forwards and up towards the ceiling. My nails dug into the stone before I pushed myself away from it.

I fell towards Aphrodite. Only a second had passed, if that long.

Aphrodite and I fell to the floor and I pinned her down. I raised my hand up, claw-like. It began to fall towards her neck in a deathly blow. My fingers made contact with her skin. But... something happened.

Instead of going straight across her neck, I changed my path, cutting from the top of her right collarbone, to the top of her left.

Blood began to spill immediately and I went for it. Only two to three seconds had passed and the others had only just began to react.

My mouth was almost to Aphrodite's bleeding chest when I stopped. My head began to swim and, with a groan, I collapsed on top of her.

"What the hell!" The Twins exclaimed.

"Darius! Stop! She's not going to hurt her!" I heard Stark nearly yell.

"Look what's she's done!" Darius barked, his voice harsh yet broken.

"Darius!" Loren said firmly. "She's out! Zoey Redbird is out!"

It went quiet, all except for ragged breathing.

I tried to stop the constant spinning, but I couldn't. I groaned once more, barely making a sound. I was so weak. I couldn't move anything, I couldn't say anything. Even breathing was becoming difficult.

"Zoey?" The voice was right next to me, I could feel the breath on my face. I just continued to breath in my short, soft pants.

"Zoey?" It was Aphrodite who spoke then. "Darius. It's okay. She... she can't move?" Her words came out as a question. When she spoke again, her words were a statement.

"She... she's weak. Very weak. Breathing takes too much energy..." Her voice was frail... weak. Like me. "She might as well be dead, the state she's in."

I felt someone lift me up. I felt the person tremble.

"What the hell?" Stark muttered.

"What?" Kalona asked, concerned. I felt a hand on my shoulder and heard Kalona's laugh. "It seems I am going to have to teach her a few things."

I could feel a smile forming on my face.

"Zoey! Can you hear me?" Stark whispered. I let out a weak, breathy laugh.

"What do you think..." My voice was barely a breath, like I was hungover.

"I'm thinkin' that's a yes." Stevie Rae said, a smile in her voice.

I wanted to ask what happened, but I couldn't find the energy to do so.

"Take her to the infirmary. Along with Aphrodite." Neferet said urgently.

"Aphro... dite?" I whispered. "What... happened?"

"You don't remember?" Stark asked quietly.

I remembered only one thing.

"Blood." I whispered. And, like that, I was back. My eyes shot open and I turned my head to look up at Stark.

"Zoey." He sighed in relief. He pressed his lips to mine and I smiled.

"Love you, too." I murmured. I then looked around at the giant group surrounding us. Neferet and Kalona were in the front, Darius behind them. The Twins stood on either side of Stark, while Damien stood slightly in front of them. Erik stood in front of Stark, taking quick glances at me. Loren smiled at me from behind Stark.

"What are you smiling at, jackass?" I muttered under my breath. He laughed softly.

"You're feeling better." He said calmly. I hummed, closing my eyes.

"Not until I take Aphrodite. Have to give her to Darkness. He won't return my power... my natural strength... until I do."

Darius glanced back at me, eyes cold.

"I made a mistake Darius. A mistake even I can't get out of. That's my punishment. When you fall," I stopped, unable to finish. The tears finally fell and I let my head fall back.

"You fall hard." Kalona whispered.

And that's when the pain took me. The last thing I heard was a pained scream, and the world went black.

I groaned at the throbbing that pulsed through my entire body. But the throbbing was nothing compared the the powerful presence of that which was Darkness.

My eyes shot open and I bolted upright in the infirmary bed.

There, right in front of me, stood the giant, white bull. My eyes widened as I stared at him in wonder... fascination. While the others stared in horror and disgust.

I saw Stevie Rae trembling, a constant shudder passing through her, shaking her body until she was almost blurry even in my eyes.

Neferet was fighting. She saw a disgusting, evil creature when she looked at Darkness, but there was no denying his power that lingered around us. She wanted the power, not Darkness.

Kalona. Now, Kalona's reaction was strange. He hated Darkness, that much was obvious. And the reasons were clear as could be. But, at the same time, he respected him. I guess he didn't quite have a choice.

Like me.

"Darkness..." I breathed. He turned his giant head to look at me.

"You failed to kill the human!" His voice boomed and echoed throughout the House, rattling the glass in the windows. I flinched.

"I am sorry, Darkness. I do not know what came over me." I said, my voice pleading. "I was going to take her blood, honestly. But... I lost control... literally."

"No!" I cringed away from him then. "No excuses! You lost control because you didn't want to kill her!"

It was silent for a few moments before I spoke again.

"I do not know what I am supposed to say." I said honestly.

"You will pay me my sacrifice, Zoey Redbird. And, for your previous failure to do so, you will sacrifice two more beings. A fledgling and a vampyre. Do not fail this time!"

A burning pain seared through my chest then, causing a scream to bubble to the surface. I gripped at my chest, desperate to stop the pain. Dark tendrils of Darkness himself wrapped around me.

"You have twenty-four hours! If you shall fail once more in your task, your immortality, your power, your very soul, shall come to find it's end! So I have spoken, so mote it be!"

And, at that, Darkness disappeared.

Leaving me to face my friends, and possible sacrifices.

Alone.

Kalona didn't know how to respond to all of this. I was working for his enemy. His enemy that he just so happened to be working for as well.

I was bound by Darkness, as much as I wished otherwise.

"I think I liked being one of the living undead better." I said, finally breaking the silence.

"So... what are you gonna do?" Stevie Rae asked.

"Simple. She has to fulfill her task. Otherwise... Darkness will take her as a sacrifice." Rephaim said grimly.

"Wow. Nice. That's _real_ simple." I said sarcastically. It went quiet. "And no one has anything to say."

"What could we say?" Loren said sadly.

"You are not going to lay a hand on her, Zoey Redbird." Darius said, his voice hard and more than slightly cold. I turned on him.

"What would you have me do, Darius!" I nearly yelled. "If I die, the whole world goes to shit!Yeah! You don't really think Neferet is the only one trying to take over, do you? And even if the world wasn't at stake, I would still find a way to give Darkness his sacrifice."

"Why? Why would you kill innocent people just for Darkness!" He demanded.

"Because I don't want to die!" I yelled, tears streaming down my face. "I don't want to die. I... have you ever thought about where I would go, Darius? Huh? I'm banished from the Otherworld, body and soul. So... if I were to be destroyed, where would I go?"

He blinked at me, obviously never having thought of that. I nodded.

"Yeah. I'm kinda stuck here, Darius. I don't have a choice. At least if I kill innocent people, they'll go to Heaven. If I die... I'm going to Hell. I've been banished from the Otherworld, I killed people because I was always so thirsty when I was a red fledgling." I paused and took a deep breath. "If I die... I either live forever in dark nothingness... or I burn in Hell. Honestly? I don't like either of those choices, do you?"

He looked away.

"You think I want to kill people? Especially Aphrodite! She's been there for me when no one else was! She was the only person I could tell my secrets to! The only one who would believe me! She's like a sister to me! I don't want to kill her. I don't want to kill anybody! But I. Don't. Have. A. Choice."

Once again, silence fell over us.

"Kill me." Stevie Rae spoke up. All heads turned to her.

"What!" The Twins nearly screamed.

Tears in her eyes, Stevie Rae made her way towards me.

"Kill me. Maybe... if you kill me... you won't have to kill anyone else. No, listen!" She said when I tried to protest. "Darkness has been wanting me for a long time, now. Don't ask how I know, I just do. Plus... I never fully paid my debt. Take me instead. Please."

I felt red-tinged tears falling down my face.

"Come on, Zoey! You only have twenty-four hours. You can't be out, or up, when the sun comes up. So really you only have twelve. Take me."

The look on her face, the pure determination, is what helped me make my decision.

"You have probably been the best BFF/sister ever." I said, my voice breaking. "My sister turned into such a slut when m-mom married the step-Loser. But then... I found you. You have always been dear to me, Stevie Rae."

I hugged her tightly. I don't think the others really registered what I was saying and what the words meant. But when I spoke my next words, pulling away from her, a sob escaping my throat, they understood. But it was too late.

"I love you, Stevie Rae. I'm sorry. Tell Jack I love him." I raised my arm, fingers curled in a claw, and let it fall in a deathly blow.

My nails cut into her neck, causing blood to pour out like a fountain.

The Twins let out a scream as they tried to run towards us. Loren held onto Erin, keeping her from getting to me while Stark held on to Shaunee. Erik held Damien, comforting him with soothing words. Kalona held back his broken son, pain etched on his face.

Darius' eyes widened before they filled with anger, disbelief, shock, betrayal, and hurt.

Stevie Rae fell, dead, on the floor and I knelt down next to her.

"Here... here is your s-sacrifice!" I called out. "The first ever Red Vampyre in existence. Take her... and let my task be done!"

There was a loud bang and crash before dark wisps wrapped around Stevie Rae's body, drinking the blood that I had spilled.

They swelled with power and blood, disappearing when they were satisfied.

_More..._ the word was nothing but a breath.

"You had your fill! I gave you the Red One! The one you have been speaking of, craving, for the past year!" I said, my voice turning slightly hard.

_More..._ I began to shake with anger.

"You will have no more!" My voice boomed with the power of a High Priestess.

_I own you, Zoey Redbird! You do not have the power to tell me what I will and will not have! _

I snarled in protest before I stood.

I met the eyes of Rephaim. His eyes were the sweet color of blood as they focused on me; on the kill.

"Let him go." I said calmly. If Darkness couldn't take what I had given him, he would have to find someone else to do his bidding.

"Let him go!" I demanded. Kalona, hesitantly, let his son go, and the Raven Mocker charged at me with everything he had.

Pain seared through me once more. But I did not scream, I did not cry, and I did not fight. I let him claw at me, beat me.

And, right before I felt the blackness creeping to the surface, ready to take me, I spoke.

"Nyx...! Please...! Forgive me...!" I cried out.

Everything went black, and I felt my soul being ripped out of my body.

I opened my eyes to see a familiar face. My eyes widened as tears fell. The face smiled a warm smile and I threw my arms around her.

"Zoey, my daughter, you have done well." Nyx said warmly.

"Zoey?" I looked up to see my mother standing behind Nyx, only a few feet away.

"Mom?" The word was nothing but a broken whisper.

Nyx let me go and stood, stepping aside so I could run to my mother.

I threw my arms around her, hugging her tightly.

"I've missed you, mamma." I whispered.

"I've missed you, too, baby girl. I'm so, so sorry. John... there are no words for what he is." I laughed at the familiar frustrated anger that had seeped into her voice. But, suddenly, her smile faded.

"Wait. Why are you here? You can't be dead..." She trailed off when I looked away. "No... No! You can't be. You're only eighteen!"

"Yes, mom. I am eighteen." I looked back at her with a sad smile. "But I have lived my life. A life that was filled with plenty of adventures. Trust me. I need a bit of calm serenity. And trust me when I say there is no such thing as calm on Earth."

"Zoey." An emotionless voice spoke from behind me. I tensed as I slowly turned to face him.

"Erebus. I would love to say that it is a pleasure to see you again, but we all know that that would win the Lie of Eternity Award. So, what do you want?" I demanded harshly.

"Zoey!" My mother gasped, appalled.

"Don't." I said, silencing her with my hand. "You have no idea what he did to me."

"I did what I did for the good of all of us." Erebus said coldly. I snorted.

"How, exactly?" My voice was more cold and harsh than it had ever been.

"I protected the Otherworld from you, didn't I?" He said calmly.

"I dunno. Am I here?" I asked sweetly.

"You called war on the Otherworld!" He exclaimed.

"What!" My mom exclaimed, her face going pale. I rolled my eyes.

"I called war on the Otherworld 'cause Nyx ditched me, taking all five of my affinities. Oh, did I mention the fact that I died before that? Yeah. I rejected the Change a little over a year ago. Then I became a fallen immortal when I fell from the Otherworld. You know, 'cause Erebus banished me, body and soul, from the Otherworld. Yet here I am," I said, holding my arms out. "And feelin' better than ever!" I sneered at Erebus.

"And there ain't nothin' you can do 'bout it." I said slowly. I let out a more than slightly evil laugh. I groaned. "Oh great. Even in the Otherworld Darkness won't leave me the hell alone. Seriously, he needs a girlfriend. Man... I feel sorry for whoever takes that job." I said before I laughed, sounding just like, well... me!

I sighed and looked around.

"Well... looks like this is my new home. Yea." I said emotionlessly. "Okay... why do I not feel anything?" I looked at Nyx who looked slightly confused.

"Whatever do you mean, daughter?" She asked. I blinked once before I spoke again.

"I feel... nothing." I said blandly. "I don't feel happiness, or excitement... I don't even feel pleasure when I torment the Winged Ass."

Nyx gave me a warning look and I shrugged indifferently.

"It's like I'm... dead. But worse." I said bluntly. I just shrugged nonchalantly. Nyx's Grove caught my eye and I shuddered.

"That brings back bad memories. Ew." I said. I looked around once more before I plopped down on the ground, sitting Indian style. I looked up at Nyx.

"What now?" I asked brightly. Nyx sighed in exasperation.

"You weren't supposed to die tonight, Zoeybird. You have to go back to Earth." She said. I shot up.

"Goddess of the Night say what?" I said, folding my arms across my chest.

"Zoey, you are not supposed to be here." She said firmly.

"But... I don't wanna." I whined, stamping my foot.

"Did she really just stamp her foot?" A familiar voice whispered. I turned to see Stevie Rae standing next to Jack. Both were staring at me in amusement, but, when they saw it was me, their expressions quickly turned to one of horror.

"Zoey!" They both said.

"Nyx is being mean!" I whined like I was a five-year-old. They blinked at me.

"What?" They asked at the same time.

"She said I have to go back to Earth. Can you believe she would say something as horrible and terrifying as that?" I asked, sounding as if I were close to tears.

They looked at me, then at Nyx, then at each other before looking back at me.

"You left your brain on Earth," Stevie Rae started.

"Didn't you?" Jack finished.

"That's weird. Don't do it again... ever." I said bluntly. Nyx put her hand on my shoulder and smiled at me.

"Try not to die this time, Zoeybird." She said in amusement.

"Ah, hell!" I said before everything disappeared.

**Okayyyy. So... did you like it? Love it? Whatever. Anyways, REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW! AND VOTE VOTE VOTE! I need to know what three stories you want me to update most while I'm working on Together We Stand with panky95 and Fight for the Night with Captain Vox. SO VOTE AND REVIEW! **

_**~Jessica and Cyara Baylin~ **_


	5. ON HOLD!

**I've uploaded the novel I have been working on for the past two to three years. I have two on my account but that's because i didn't want them posted in the crossovers. I wanted EVERYONE to see it. So... whether you pick Vampire Union or Vampire Union a Jessica Baylin novel doesn't matter. It's the same fanfic. I have it completed and am already working on the second one. So you wont have to wait so long for updates. BUT, since i want to have the sequel done before i really start updating VU (Vampire Union), i have put ALL stories on HOLD! You'll see that in my Important Notes in the first chapter of Vampire Union. Everything you need to know is in the A/N. Read it and review. I hope you like this. and, as soon as i finish with Jessica Baylin's life and journeys, i will start updating my other stories. Mind you, now, I will have AT LEAST five to six sequels. Well... five or six TOTAL. That's what i had planned from the beginning. Again, in the A/N. I am truly sorry that you have to wait so long for updates of my other fanfics, but there is Twilight, House of Night, AND Vampire Academy in Vampire Union. Read... and ENJOY!**

_**~Emily**_


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